Death shall come only once

Teenage woes
Hey, I want talk to you teeny-weeny. Not to worry I will not advice, nor I ask you to procure more marks. It’s just a dialogue and talk back if it helped!
I know teen girls are easy to talk to; but boys never give a heed. Does it hurt us the elders, when in company of attitude or misdemeanour of a person age of their experience? Yes, of course it does, for parents it hurts. But I love to talk to you all coz you are sweet and your actions are age justified. Even you are not able to figure out what’s going on your ever full, crumpled brains. Since you hate to talk to your seemingly rigid Parents, this talk could be a let out. Trust me I won’t talk about careers and other serious stuff with my own kids I shall ask my well-wishers to do that.
Usually Teenagers want to get noticed, yet know not what to do. But by common sense I can say people talk about achievers or toppers in studies. Even being good at any sport or a guy coming up in local newspaper are always talked about. In friends circle, humorous guy is an instant hit. Or else just throw away that Idea of getting noticed; be yourself. Even superstars are forgotten after their films dwindle, right. So, why bother,” Haste Haste kat jaaye raste”( Just move on in your life with a smile). Yet as far as my knowledge goes peers like a strong person a role model sort of a guy rather than those ape film stars or always show off their Parents money. Being yourself and developing a skill of your own can be the best bet, whatsoever.
Getting inspired from TV shows and Movies is favourable, yet their main motive is not educating people but to draw audience should be borne in mind. When they dramatize normal happenings it’s attractive but life is harsh and not that surreal or idealistic, is it not? Life will not act in a pre-determined way it’s very unpredictable right. Doing something out of the way just to get noticed or to impress someone, can have serious damage on one’s future; right?
Before doing anything which can endanger your life you must ask yourself, is it worth the risk? Is it really a life and death question for me? After five years does this really matter as much as of now? Is this friend (accomplice) who is instigating me will stay with me and go through hell if things won’t work out as planned? Why should one get into such an odd thing in the very first place? Most of the time curious onlookers or just once offenders pay a heavy price is it not? So, any unethical, secretive anti-social, work for the sake of quick money or getting noticed or even for a (?) loved one should be totally ruled out.
Nothing is life and death question but LIFE CARVING is.
I read this somewhere,’ Friends support good habits Accomplices support bad habits’. Sometimes in pursuit of or to project oneself, ‘COOL’ teenagers may get into certain groups. Yet few friends are like Dhuryodhan; who gave lots of goodies to Karna but was it really good for him? If you work for a crook how much ever friendly he is; it is regressive, agree?
Not listening to elders and doing things pleases you is okay fine it’s forgivable, can you forgive yourself after say ten years when you are stranded in your life aimlessly? Not studying when you should have may make you regret whole of your life, so balance between your own dreams and expectations of the society.
Friends do have a very crucial and important part in everyone’s life. They alone are not everything in life and cannot guide always since they are equally naïve, is it not? Something good for your close friend may not be as good to you since both are different individuals, is it not? In fact teens should engage in talks with friendly elders apart from parents to have a non-judgemental point of view on life defining aspects.
In studies most Teenagers want quick money or choose courses which may not be their dream defined ones. Just because one of the friends recommended it or en masse all friends are in that group they also tend to go by the flock. Again few people think getting into prestigious institutions by hook or crook will ensure good future. If you dig it a bit you can see, only royal road to better future is college which suits one’s needs, smart (hard) work, improving skills with all possible avenues and focus.
Now it’s time to shape one’s future, instead of following beaten path and hoping for miracles to happen ,take things into your stride, listen to well-wisher’s advice who happens to be in the profession you aspire to be in and then decide what’s best for you.
A Boy of age 20years was clinically depressed and came to me for an informal talk upon persuasion of his worried father. He has entered engineering due to peer pressure and now unable to decide whether to continue studies or to pursue his dreams. I suggested him to go ahead with his plans; but in future only a degree- four letters could have fetched a much more lucrative job he may feel, though he has a superlative skills in his job, but by then it will be too late to get a degree is it not? Recently, I came to know from his father that he is going to college besides shaping up his dreams.
I told one of my benefactor to not to take up CA if she does not have an absolute passion towards it. She tried to clear the CPT twice but in vain which reduced her self-confidence. Not clearing entrance exam do necessarily mean that she is not good enough? In reality you must be smart enough to figure out what you need and what you are good at right?
Teens who seek Medical help have very high, performance oriented stress and are not able to cope with them. This is because of their Parents and Peer pressure as well. It is not the stress, that good one you experience before a stage show or participating in a sport. It just squeezes life sap from them. It makes them seem invalid. Is it sounds like your own story?
So, I guess you need guidance and removal of obstacles in your path of choice but not advice or spoon feeding. Yet its very essential that you talk to elders without negative emotions buddy,life is very precious and no easy ways to achieve in life.
If utterly confused elders duty is to clear the confusion and help you in need of hour. But it’s quite essential for us Parents to read all available Paths and resources for them and again make them recognize that there is only one royal road for accomplishment; hard work and Diligence.
Be strong mentally to meet life’s challenges buddy rather than counting each mark you were supposed to score; work hard with no excuses till exams are over then relax, accept the results and move on. See what best could be done, that’s it.
Courses are not end to achieve but a beginning to an end and that everyone knows. Let you not suffer physically and mentally due to the constant stress. Instead you should be prepared to welcome your bright future with a smile and tools to get where you want to be.

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7 thoughts on “Death shall come only once

  1. kudos! well said rekha! Let every teenager realize his reponsibility and work towards his goal. parents should have confidence in child so that he can feel secure and go ahead with a positive attitude.

    Like

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