Boy of seventeen came inside my consulting room with his mother. Just you can understand on seeing him how much he is bored about coming to a Doctor.  On enquiry he will just stare; only his mother answers. I usually try to talk to them those subjects they will be fond of. All boys think Doctors are boring and will be advising relentlessly, only one girl behaved likewise. But they warm up to subjects they may like to talk about. Usually it is Career for boys and beauty tips ;hair related issues for both of them.

Prejudice or fixed mind-set is innate to teens and it’s a tough nail. That air/attitude about them angers adults and will puncture their egos. But considering Teens as equal to Adults is dangerous mistake. It’s tough but after all he/she is our child is it not. We cannot be ruthless. So, being matter of fact with compassion is most essential on our part.

So, Prejudice=compassion.

Teenagers give so much of importance to trivia (or silly matters) that we feel sick of getting them off it. But sometimes travelling in time machine to our own teenage may settle the thinks. Even if we were not like that at least we can gather such references of close friends behaving so, right? Being extremely tolerant on our part is needed. Better if we could steer them out of those habits with

big talk child at heart
big talk child at heart

and agreeing on few issues mutually. For example you say that dress is awesome but teen holds on to age old notion that either too thin/fat for that dress and keeps changing the outfits  for the Nth time, disgusting  is it not;as  time is running out. Even bribing or just hugging your child may all that is needed to fix the matter.

So Trivia=Tolerance.

Age related Hormonal change brings on much of alterations in their feelings that are quite natural. But at the same time they are vulnerable to dangers of getting into the company of wrong people as well. So, Teens should be handled as if they are one year olds. You tie a rope around the baby’s waist let him walk on his own he will falter but we will behave as if we are not aware still remove all blocks and dangers for the baby. Likewise we should be get associatedly dissociated. Just as our Prime Minister said on Independence day speech tracking their activity is very important. Educate them about our familial, Cultural and our own personal preferences as well as our vision for their future. For example you are not for some cultural deviations but your teen will be willing to move with hi-fi society. It is better to talk about those delicate matters; rather than letting them to do whatever they want and suddenly one fine day yelling at them.

So, Immaturity= to educate

Again not only teens but also young adults like to be noticed always. Either they shut themselves up due to shyness or overdo aping some worthless role model and do out of way things just for doing sake.  Both undesired; so, comparisons are useless. We can set a bench mark usually not from our surroundings and remind them time again to emulate their own role models. So, comparing, nagging or insulting Teenagers is in turn detrimental to them and parent child relationship.

So, Getting Noticed=role model

Talking about money and how much is wasted on their activities may not help to win teens heart, (actually it hurts) still it is essential to let your child know how much expenditure is consolidated to meet their needs and wants. Again they must be aware of difficulties in the household, but it must be in an adult to adult manner. They must be aware of all happenings of their home and forcibly (otherwise they will not care) involved in all happenings. Once they get engaged they will be happy to help their parents in household chores but little pushing each time is needed.

So, Values=communication.

Handling Teens is tough no doubt but do our parents felt so when we were teens? Taking things as it comes and simple solutions to day to day happenings is all needed. Thinking dramatically and giving undue importance to minor problems is not helping. But not caring for the child’s emotional needs is also not good. Good communication is basic thing to have a great future of your child. Yet communication gap, occasional yelling on parent’s part all will add zing to our life is it not. Have a great week ahead.





3 thoughts on “Teen Talk

  1. Teens have unfinished brains and yet can convinvce themsleves and others otherwise; after all, the unfinished work involves the most subtle functions, like judgement, perspective, nuance. I often see young adults quite convinced their lives are over. In some ways this is the effect of depression distorting their thinking in the same ways it does mature adults. I’ve found some traction, though, it pointing out to them that at their age I too was completely grown up, and I too was completely wrong in thinking I was completely grown up. I point out that I’m still figuring things out I was certain were settled forever when I was 20, and that their lives aren’t over: in fact they’ve barely begun. In short, I replace things they assume are individual and fixed, and gently replace them with things that are universal and workable.

    Liked by 1 person

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